"Who's Joe Daddy?" or" Why Boyz-II-Men reminds me of my Dad"

I believe this picture says it all.  My dad.  The man, the myth, the legend.  I could say a million things about this picture.  The contradictions and ironies are many.  The Big-Mow tractor on the gravel driveway.  The Christmas Story t-shirt in the middle of July.   The ear protectors on the already mostly deafened ears.  But those are neither here-nor-there.  On this Fathers Day, I am obviously dedicating my blog to my father, the man responsible (or at fault) for making me the person I am today. 
Though his name is not Joe, I do call him that.  It started as a small joke about 10-15 years ago.  I referred to him as Joe Daddy (as in "Who's yo' daddy?").  Then I started referring to my mom as Su Madre.  Get it?  Hilarious right?  Anyway, the names have stuck and I now refer to my parents as Joe and Su.  They even sign my birthday cards as such. 
I have many things that I could say about my Dad, as a father, as a man, as a husband.  I will touch on all three.  I will begin with his role as my father, since that is the theme for the day.  I come from a family of 9.  That's 7 children, two parents.  Add on top of that a score of foster kids, and you end up with a dicey household.  Lots going on, always.  With three older brothers and my dad, I had plenty of male role models growing up.  All their own individuals, of course, but my dad was definitely the paradigm of being a man.  The hunter.  The fisherman.  The yard guy.  The construction worker.  The furniture mover.  The terrible fashion sense. Most of what I am as a man today is an interpretation of who he was to me growing up.  The way he expects the most out of people.  The way he assumes people are good, unless proven otherwise.  The stubbornness.  The righteous anger at unjust situations. The pride in the Mexican culture.  The jokes about the Mexican culture. Loyalty to family.  The faith in a transcendent/immanent God. The love for music. All this and more.   One thing I definitely get from him is holding people to task. In fact, as I look towards taking on my new role at my school (as Dean of Student Achievement), this will be my focus.  Holding my students to task, and finding creative ways of doing so.  This was my Dad's m.o. for my siblings and me.

As an example, I can never hear a Boys-II-Men song again without thinking of my Dad holding me to task. 
Back in the spring of my 11th grade year of school, I got in a little trouble.  My friends and I had a brilliant idea to drink after Junior Prom.  We got hammered.   Poor decision, but please don't judge.  Anyway, I got caught, because I was stupid.  I had the liquor list in my pants pocket, and left it on top of the dryer when I was doing laundry. My mom found it.  I remember clear as day, us sitting down during dinner.  As the table was being cleared, my mom pulls it out and shows it to my dad.  Damn.  I was busted.  I like to consider myself quick with answers, but in this situation, I was certainly busted, how could you explain the presence of such a list?  Anyway, my Dad was all but too displeased with this situation.  A normal parent would have simply grounded his son.  Not Joe.  No, he made me really pay.  First of all, he had me call my date's Dad.  He stood there as I made the call, to apologize to Mr. *****.  Needless to say, my date's dad was understandably sideswiped with the news of his angel being corrupted by the little brown boy next door.  I am sure fears of pregnancy were on his mind, and if he could reach through the phone and wring my greasy little neck he would have.  Next, I had to go to school on Monday and confess to the vice principal about drinking at a school event.  The results?  I had to go to alcohol classes.  Finally, I was grounded.  Not just grounded, but really grounded.  I couldn't go anywhere, watch tv, or talk on the phone.  Here is what stung the most.  I had scored some sweet tickets to go and see Boyz-II-Men in concert a few weeks earlier!  He didn't care.  Those things cost $40!  I begged, I pleaded.  He said no.  I am still a bit bitter to this day.  Truly, I had "come to the end of the road." 
So, what did I learn? Accountability.  He taught me, that there are negative consequences for bad decisions.  This, my readers, is the same damn thing I am trying to teach my students, everyday.  My dad's dad, my grandpa, did the same thing with Joe.  He told me stories of going out drinking or coming home past curfew and being forced into hard labor in the garden on hot days, hours on end.  Natural consequence for poor decisions.  Neither were/are rich men, but this value they passed down is invaluable.

Here,  Su wanted to Mexican dance on the helicopter pad at Emerald Lake, MT.  Joe obliged, despite the ridiculousness of the request.  Redneck hick stares and points ensued.

Obviously, I could write many volumes (and may indeed proceed to do so in time) about my father.  However, before I wrap this up, I want to share one last value he taught me.  That was how to be a good husband.  If someone ever wants to make the claim, chivalry is dead, they never met Joe.  Now, to be honest, he tried the Mexican-machismo thing early on with my mom.  She squashed that immediately.  However, he always took/takes good care of her.  Growing up, he always treated her with respect.  He always opened the door for her.  He always held her hand in public.  He always, even if they were fighting, would talk things out.  If he was angry, he would walk away until he calmed down, and then figured things out.  When my mom was going through a bout with cancer a few years ago, he took on the responsibilities of keep up the house, yard, cars, garden.  Being so far away (I was living in Cali at the time), my consolation was that my Dad was there to take care of my mom, and my siblings were there to take care of him.  They did this because they learned the same value, of family taking care of family.  Carnalismo.  Familia es primera.  While I am not a father, I am a husband.  I have taken careful notes.  I am striving to be the husband my father is to my mother.  I screw up, as he has.  But if I can one day make it 40 years of marriage, taking care of my kids half as well as he has for us, then I can say I have been a success.  Happy Father's Day Joe!  You truly are one of a kind.

P.S.  Thanks for ruining Boyz-II-Men for me.